Day One in Pallisa; Beauty in the Breaking

 06/17/2012  The dirt smudges on the pages as they flipped through my tiny book of scriptures that I heard and written here and there; they were the most beautiful paintings I had ever seen. The young girl would stop and pause every few seconds to try and decipher my sloppy handwriting. In that moment, I wished I had written more in it so that she could see that, I too, share the love of a Father who first loved us. As I sit here and write words on a page, I am chuckling at the greenish yellow stains that are now decoration on the back of my beige skirt. Earlier today, as I sat with the children under the tree, one of the little ones pointed to a squashed mango that I had so carelessly sat down upon. He was trying to tell me to move so I would not get dirty. But I didn't care, because it was in that moment that the Lord had spoken to me: Even in my filth and sin, and even when the world may look at me as I am covered in dirt, the Lord sees me as something beautiful. And as this small child smiled at me and tried to warn me of this, I was also reminded that while the Lord sees us in our filth and finds us as beautiful even so, He is such a giving and faithful God that He washes away our sin because He KNOWS our desire to be clean.
   How many times has He sat there next to me and poured warm water over my cuts and bruises, and gently took the time to clean me with care until I was new again? And how many times had I pulled away or even scolded Him when He tried to clean me because I was prideful or bitter or angry. And every time, whether I was ungrateful or not, He did not leave. Not even after I was cleaned.
   I see rubble, dirt, dust, things that would be seen as unclean in our worldly eyes. And as I stand here in wonder and amazement of His grace and mercy, I know that I have never seen so much beauty, peace, and grace in one place in my entire life. "There is beauty in the breaking, and in the power of getting up again."
   Lord, I thank you for reminding me that broken things are beautiful. I thank you for wiping the dirt from my eyes because you know my desire to see. And I thank you for loving me even when the dirt covers me and for humbling me, not just for my own fulfillment, but to teach me what it means come as I am before you; simple, broken, and beautiful.